I realize we are just getting started helping our children and family as a whole unit live and succeed with chronic disease. We have definitely had more experiences in the hospital and at the doctors than an average family, but know there are other families that absolutely have had more experience than us. Watching each of our infants experience at some point an extended hospitalization left us feeling confused, afraid, lost, guilty, and often very angry. In the beginning I remember a toe to toe nose to nose discussion with one pulmonologist on call one day in the hospital with my 7 month old son (who heart breakingingly screamed bloody murder through every IV). The pulmonologist told me to “get used to this mom, you have to get used to this, you have children with a chronic disease you need to expect weeks in the hospital.” I was furious. I told her I refused to accept the hospital as normal and I refused to quit asking to go home as soon as we could as often as I could. She never came back to our room, and I never saw her again. She asked another pulmonologist to handle us (lets be honest me). I think I would like to let her know now that I apologize and I understand. I’m not happy about it, and it still feel angry about it a lot of the time but I understand that being intermittently hospitalized is part of my children’s life. We also understand that our emotions are second to helping our kids do their best to prevail with positivity and hope. Our attitude will be mirrored and magnified in them especially if it’s a negative one.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Please Bless Heaven Not To Miss Her Too Much



Ruby came this week! 8 pounds 12 ounces and 21 inches long which gives her a great jump on the growth chart! 

She is exceptionally lovely and likes to be held close to the heart. Labor and delivery was a unique experience because we were able to do it without and epidural this time. All the other kids I ended up getting one, but always wanted to do it without. It meant a lot to me and I wanted to try again this time. I had a very supportive nurse and a doctor who didn't judge me when I freaked out when it was time to push. Frank was a great team mate. He also didn't judge me during the aforementioned freaking out and when I was flailing around trying to get a grip (both literally and figuratively) and caught him in a head lock he didn't mind at all. 

I thought I was going to have her on Tuesday but all my labor stopped at bedtime. The next morning Frank had been at work for about an hour when I called him and told him I was going to head to the hospital because I thought I had a "high leak" like I had with my 1st & 3rd baby. Frank hadn't eaten breakfast yet by the time I called him and I wasn't allowed to eat until the baby was born. He refused to eat until I could so all day during labor Frank and I talked about pizza and avoided the food network. I did convince him to sneak me pieces of sour licorice throughout the day when my nurse was out of the room.

As they ran penicillin and pitocin through my iv and we waited for labor to get stronger we were watching the Halloween episode of Duck Dynasty and I laughed so hard my water broke all the way. 4 hours later Ruby was born.

My mom was with me the whole day before I delivered because we knew I would need to go to the hospital soon and she even slept on the couch in case we went during the night. After having the kids all day the next day with them being so anxious for the baby to be born I am sure she was exhausted. She said that after we sent them the picture of the baby and Frank called them to talk about her that the kids wanted to do something to celebrate. The decided that they would play some music. So Maelee played the piano, Charles played his mini table harp he got for his birthday and Orson played Frank's ukulele. Then as she finally got them to settle down and go to bed they all said their prayers. In his prayer Charles asked Heavenly Father to "please bless heaven not to miss her too much." Talking of course about Ruby.     

So yes for anyone who is wondering our house is a wreck. Yes I am combing my "wardrobe" for stretchy pants. Yes our routine has been literally shattered but we have the sweetest little sister in our house to show for it. Everyone is in love. She is amazing. Everyone is fascinated by her. The kids are all clamoring to help her with absolutely anything they can think of to help with. Everyone comes running when her currently blue eyes are open long enough to look into. Hooray for not being pregnant anymore! Hooray for no epidural (I was presented with an official certificate of membership in the no epidural club)! Hooray for families! And hooray that we have Ruby here!









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1 comment:

  1. DianneJuly 2, 2015 at 9:07 AM

    I'm sure heaven is going to miss her but I'm so happy for your family that she is here! Congratulations!!

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