I realize we are just getting started helping our children and family as a whole unit live and succeed with chronic disease. We have definitely had more experiences in the hospital and at the doctors than an average family, but know there are other families that absolutely have had more experience than us. Watching each of our infants experience at some point an extended hospitalization left us feeling confused, afraid, lost, guilty, and often very angry. In the beginning I remember a toe to toe nose to nose discussion with one pulmonologist on call one day in the hospital with my 7 month old son (who heart breakingingly screamed bloody murder through every IV). The pulmonologist told me to “get used to this mom, you have to get used to this, you have children with a chronic disease you need to expect weeks in the hospital.” I was furious. I told her I refused to accept the hospital as normal and I refused to quit asking to go home as soon as we could as often as I could. She never came back to our room, and I never saw her again. She asked another pulmonologist to handle us (lets be honest me). I think I would like to let her know now that I apologize and I understand. I’m not happy about it, and it still feel angry about it a lot of the time but I understand that being intermittently hospitalized is part of my children’s life. We also understand that our emotions are second to helping our kids do their best to prevail with positivity and hope. Our attitude will be mirrored and magnified in them especially if it’s a negative one.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

An Example of A Decision Not To Be Made In the 3rd Trimester


A favorite beauty school instructor of mine told us a story about when she was pregnant and had very long beautiful hair. She said that in her last trimester she thought it would be fun to chop off her long hair into a short tight bob. She said she spent the rest of her pregnancy and the year or more it took her to grow it back out regretting this decision, often with tears.

This is a woman whose advice I hold highly. Highly enough to remember the story with each of my pregnancies and feel like I have been careful to not make rash hair decisions while under the influence of increased hormonal powers. However I can now see that such logic should be applied to other areas and my decision making while pregnant.

Ace Hardware recently had an amazing sale on their “sample” sizes of paints. A sample custom color which was regularly $4.99 went on sale for $1 for a few days a month or so ago. This is basically my dream sale, hands down so exhilarating to stand in front of the paint chips and think to myself “I can have four of you for $4!!!!!”

So I found that before the sale was over I had shopped on 2 different days and went to 2 different stores to end up with 8 new colors of paint. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my $8 well spent but I was itching to do something. That’s when I made this wall happen in our front room.

 
 
I was super excited about it while I was painting. Then the instant I finished and stood back and realized that I had not only painted the colors of the Jamaican flag once, but twice on my wall I was disappointed with my 3rd trimester decision and my new paint. Hey I love Jamaica. I have never been there, but Cool Running’s is one of my favorite movies. Still though, never my intention to accidentally paint the flag on my wall twice. The trouble was I had spent 5 hours on the project one night, staying up way way way too late and I couldn’t help but feel a little sad to cover back up the work I had done. Each day though I would walk past it a million times and think, barf that looks terrible.

Good news is, the wall is officially fixed. Orson even helped me screw back in my light switch plates for one of his “chores” while the older kids were at school. Now its very much more normal looking, calming with the blue, and I no longer “feel the rhythm, or the rhyme” as I walk past the wall.

Hats off to Ms. Terri for teaching me not to drastically cut my hair while I am pregnant, and here is another one to teach to the next generation; enjoy the paint sale, but don’t get crazy with the stripes. 

2 comments:

  1. I like the cool colors of the pale wall so much better!!!

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  2. Bahahahaah! You make me so happy Kamarah! Thanks for the laughs!

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