Tuesday, May 2, 2017

I Caught The Ball of Poop, And She Helped Me Clean It Up!


I really have to give a round of applause to our CF clinic team at Phoenix Children’s Hospital. Today when we came in the nurses were waiting for us in our room to do vitals. We always get two nurses (sometimes three) since they are doing vitals for three patients at once. Its pretty nuts in there as soon as we all step in so they have to be efficient and awesome and they always are.

Today’s visit I let Charles, our non CF kid, decide if he wanted to attend the appointment or not. Usually I make him go to school but he decided he would like to go today so we were all together.

Everyone was keeping their sanity pretty well. The clinic is really good at timing all the people we have to see so that we don’t have any long lags of time when we aren’t seeing and talking to someone (social worker, pulmonologist, nutritionist, respiratory therapist, nurse) which I appreciate. The appointments have always been long because each CF person requires being seen by 5 medical professionals so multiply that by three and we’ve got 15 different appointments so it’s no wonder if takes almost 4 hours.  

Ruby had the roughest time today pawing the door and prowling around the room desperate to leave like a hungry tiger waiting for the zoo keeper with the steak. She is ready to be toilet trained but I’m putting it off until school gets out so we don’t have as many car rides. She is obsessed already with taking her diaper off and sitting on the toilet. Demanding it! So it was no surprise today when the boys kept leaving (5 times for the bathroom, because that’s normal right? NO they wanted to play in there the little turkeys) to “use the bathroom” that she began screaming “POTTY ME, MY TURN,” and tugging on her diaper.

Well I fought her off while I was talking to our charming pulmonologist who is very skilled at what she does and is the most people-iest people person doctor I have ever met. She makes me feel totally normal to have the circus happening all around me with three CF kids and today was no exception.

Ruby had pooped and it smelled awful and we were all trapped in a 10x10 room. Maelee kept saying, “MOM RUBBY POOPED” (just you know in case I hadn’t smelled it yet NEWS flash sister my nose works great I smell the RANK!). So while I am attempting not to scream at Maelee and also to casually change a poopy diaper a few feet away from another adult I respect and admire and also keep eye contact and focus on important health discussions I all of a sudden am holding a large ball of poop in my hand.

When I had wrestled Ruby to lay down on the exam table to change her diaper and began to take off her skirt I did not know she had half way taken the diaper off already, sneaky like a ninja. When I pulled her skirt down the magic moment of the solid (thank heavens) ball of poop rolled perfectly into my hand and also the mess of the rest of “it” was smeared inside of her skirt, up her legs, and on the exam table. Really a magic moment for me catching Ruby’s poop ball, with another adult whom I admire and respect watching me two feet away.

What was our charming pulmonologists reaction? She gloved up (genius!) and came over with sanitizing wipes to help me clean up the mess. She also provided some handy biohazard bags (I love this lady! She just made it into my best friend dream team) and didn’t flinch with disgust for a second during the whole messy process.

I’m impressed, pleased, and grateful for her kindness and grace in such a crappy situation (wink).

To top it off she announced with grandeur that “this is a momentous occasion! All three of your kids are in the GREEN ZONE!” Which translates into all three kids are above the 50th percentile for BMI on the CF growth chart. This news is just what we were hoping for. Orson has NEVER EVER EVER been in the green zone since birth. Momentous occasion indeed! What was my reaction to her announcement? I started chanting, “GREEN ZONE, GREEN ZONE!” and our pulmonologist joined me (I've always loved starting a good chant). It has been an ounce by ounce miracle to see Orson go from the 13th percentile to the 67th percentile over the past two years.

What will I do with this memory of holding a poop ball in my hand in front of our incredible fantastic pulmonologist? Treasure it. Definitely move it to the top of my best awkward moments and then move it to the top again of the coolest most appreciated acts of kindness I’ve seen.

Yep I’d say our CF clinic team at PCH deserves a round of applause to deal with us knuckleheads for 3 hours and 40 minutes every three months. Did I mention our respiratory therapist left the room saying he needed to go “decompress?” Ha! I love the people who have decided to continue working for the CF community even though my personal CF community is a coo coo’s nest.  
Here is the hard working pulmonologist who helps our
kids survive, while also surviving our kids, and watching
me catch balls of poop. Sounds like a country song.

We obtained some new CF specific literature for kids today! Cute stuff!
Informative too!

This is what it looks like to have a 3 hour and 40 minute long
doctors appointment for 4 kids.

My favorite APP is Jiggity because I feel like puzzles
makes it less like screen time. See how I fooled myself there?

Here is our buddy Oreo who has taken his
g-tube and rocked it like a champion. Oh and he was
thrilled to STILL be the screen saver on all the
hospital computers! He is very happy about that, you know being famous and all!

Did I mention that I neglected to bring my baby shoes to the
hospital. Yep. Gross huh? Crazy morning and we got all the
"treatments" done so I can feel good about that. Luckily although
they do not sell children's shoes at the hospital gift shop they do sell
expensive puppy dog socks so at least her feet weren't bare
on the hospital floors.


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