I realize we are just getting started helping our children and family as a whole unit live and succeed with chronic disease. We have definitely had more experiences in the hospital and at the doctors than an average family, but know there are other families that absolutely have had more experience than us. Watching each of our infants experience at some point an extended hospitalization left us feeling confused, afraid, lost, guilty, and often very angry. In the beginning I remember a toe to toe nose to nose discussion with one pulmonologist on call one day in the hospital with my 7 month old son (who heart breakingingly screamed bloody murder through every IV). The pulmonologist told me to “get used to this mom, you have to get used to this, you have children with a chronic disease you need to expect weeks in the hospital.” I was furious. I told her I refused to accept the hospital as normal and I refused to quit asking to go home as soon as we could as often as I could. She never came back to our room, and I never saw her again. She asked another pulmonologist to handle us (lets be honest me). I think I would like to let her know now that I apologize and I understand. I’m not happy about it, and it still feel angry about it a lot of the time but I understand that being intermittently hospitalized is part of my children’s life. We also understand that our emotions are second to helping our kids do their best to prevail with positivity and hope. Our attitude will be mirrored and magnified in them especially if it’s a negative one.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Heavenly Arranged Friendships (Even With Orange-ish Hair)


I wasn’t even born when my mom developed her close friendship to Kathy. But they grew up together as Mom’s with children of similar ages attending church in the same building. Working alongside each other while at the same time realizing they made each other laugh the hardest. It was a magical friendship made strong with enduring trials together and happy memories together too. But what made her really legendary in my eyes was their farewell story of sharing a neighborhood and a church building.

They were both expecting babies at the same time. My mom already had two girls and a boy so she assumed she would be carrying a boy (in the 80’s before common gender ultra sounds). Kathy also was pregnant and assumed she was carrying a boy. They decided that since Kathy was moving out of state that they would cement their friendship in naming their coming baby’s the same name. Cameron.

It turns out I was a girl so my Dad switched some spelling around and added several A’s and a K and WA-LA I had in their eyes the more feminine “Kamarah” and Kathy did name her son “Cameron.” So they still got their bond just a bit different than planned.

I remember Kathy’s visits to our house over the years with great anticipation. She may not have seen my Mom in a year or two but when they got together a natural and easy friendship was theirs waiting every time. We got to skip school to go to the zoo with “Aunt Kathy” and her kids. We went to movies on holidays together. I have a very clear memory of seeing the Home Alone movies 1 and 2 with Kathy and her family during Christmas time in theatres.

To see my Mom so happy with her made me happy and made me want to find my own Kathy someday.

Unbeknownst to me my Kathy knocked on my door one day while I was “big with child” about 10 years ago to the day. She invited me to a girl’s night and the rest is history filled with kid hang outs, double dates, pool days, cheap kid movies in the summer, grilled cheese sandwiches, bean crisps, and our most anticipated event over the years Black Friday shopping. Of course we have also shared the emotional and physical trials as life as well.

Heavenly Father knows just who we need in our lives and I’m so happy I found me a Kathy. Last week I was trying to decide whether or not to attend an out of state funeral for my Dad’s biological mother. I had only met her one time so I felt silly wanting to go, but I also knew that if my Dad were still alive I would be going with him to the funeral. The pull was strong. I knew it would be a challenge to leave in the middle of the week and a LOT crazy to fly in and out in one day. When I let my friend know what I was mulling over she told me that she had no plans for the day of the funeral in question and that she would love to go with me! My jaw dropped! I could not believe it! So we are off this week for a crazy same day in same day out flight to attend a funeral together.
The first pumpkin rolling challenge. Back when I had blondish hair with a lovely orange tint. I've always liked to keep it classy. Don't want anyone to mistake me for perfect you know.  
The second pumpkin rolling challenge with "my Kathy" my hair was not orange anymore so hooray!


These two women got me through so much! We aren't neighbors anymore but what we had when we had it was heavenly.



I have a strong group of fantastic friends who inspire, motivate, and cheer me up! I thank heaven for being given female friends who understand and accept me. I’m grateful for all the Kathy’s in my life.

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