I realize we are just getting started helping our children and family as a whole unit live and succeed with chronic disease. We have definitely had more experiences in the hospital and at the doctors than an average family, but know there are other families that absolutely have had more experience than us. Watching each of our infants experience at some point an extended hospitalization left us feeling confused, afraid, lost, guilty, and often very angry. In the beginning I remember a toe to toe nose to nose discussion with one pulmonologist on call one day in the hospital with my 7 month old son (who heart breakingingly screamed bloody murder through every IV). The pulmonologist told me to “get used to this mom, you have to get used to this, you have children with a chronic disease you need to expect weeks in the hospital.” I was furious. I told her I refused to accept the hospital as normal and I refused to quit asking to go home as soon as we could as often as I could. She never came back to our room, and I never saw her again. She asked another pulmonologist to handle us (lets be honest me). I think I would like to let her know now that I apologize and I understand. I’m not happy about it, and it still feel angry about it a lot of the time but I understand that being intermittently hospitalized is part of my children’s life. We also understand that our emotions are second to helping our kids do their best to prevail with positivity and hope. Our attitude will be mirrored and magnified in them especially if it’s a negative one.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Raising The Queen



There is of course a natural prestige attached to the baby of the family. The great part about that is that every kid gets a chance at having it, but of course the last duckling gets the longest run. So now we have Ruby getting her shot at all the glory of being the baby. It’s easy for me and her daddy to shine the spotlight of babydom on her but it is really entertaining to watch her brothers and sister do the same.


It starts first thing in the morning. The other kids wake up and are ready to start the day and I shoo them away to the farthest part of the house away from the baby in hopes that she will sleep a bit longer. As soon as they hear her make any noise on the baby monitor they all come racing back to her room to see her and to play with her. If they are doing their vests and medicine when she wakes up they all insist on me bringing her to each of them to say good morning before they will continue with their tasks at hand.

They all dote on her and fight over her attention. All three siblings will go out of their way to make sure she is comfortable, happy, and not in any way fussing. If Ruby gives a smile or a laugh to one brother the other sister and brother clamor in to get one for themselves.

Now we just have to keep goaling for all the kids to treat each other the way they treat Queen Ruby. Henry Eyring quotes President Ezra Taft Benson in his talk from 2012.

“Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured of that often. Obviously, this is a role parents should fill, and most often the mother can do it best.” (Ezra Taft Benson)

Then Eyring goes on to say, “But another crucial source for that feeling of being loved is love from other children in the family. Consistent care of brothers and sisters for each other will come only with persistent effort by parents and the help of God. You know that is true from experience in your own families.” (Henry B. Eyring)

I am grateful for families and for kindness and love, and especially for the privilege to raise all my little queens and kings.

PS - We recently had the chance to be photographed by Phoenix Children's Hospital in all our messy glory (notice the kid junk wiped on my jeans in this photo) so we got some new family  pictures.
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