I realize we are just getting started helping our children and family as a whole unit live and succeed with chronic disease. We have definitely had more experiences in the hospital and at the doctors than an average family, but know there are other families that absolutely have had more experience than us. Watching each of our infants experience at some point an extended hospitalization left us feeling confused, afraid, lost, guilty, and often very angry. In the beginning I remember a toe to toe nose to nose discussion with one pulmonologist on call one day in the hospital with my 7 month old son (who heart breakingingly screamed bloody murder through every IV). The pulmonologist told me to “get used to this mom, you have to get used to this, you have children with a chronic disease you need to expect weeks in the hospital.” I was furious. I told her I refused to accept the hospital as normal and I refused to quit asking to go home as soon as we could as often as I could. She never came back to our room, and I never saw her again. She asked another pulmonologist to handle us (lets be honest me). I think I would like to let her know now that I apologize and I understand. I’m not happy about it, and it still feel angry about it a lot of the time but I understand that being intermittently hospitalized is part of my children’s life. We also understand that our emotions are second to helping our kids do their best to prevail with positivity and hope. Our attitude will be mirrored and magnified in them especially if it’s a negative one.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

The Adrenaline of Accomplishment


Scene : Mike Teevee’s mom from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original movie) climbs aboard the strange Wonka car. Unbeknownst to her she is sitting directly in front of a horn that will blow massive amounts of mysterious looking sudsy bubbles all over her. At first the bubbles shock her, then to no avail she try's to hold them back with her hands, finally she sits in her seat as the obnoxious foam just completely covers her from head to toe. She cannot stop it. Did she look cute and have good intentions of staying that way while she rode the Wonka car to the next stop in the creepy factory? Yes! She had a labor intensive 70’s roller set, pantyhose, and kitten heels on when she started her day – all plans pointed to awesome – not what really happened (a spooky candy factory tour, being insulted, and having her son shrunk to a purse size boy).

Next scene : End of the Pirate of the Caribbean series when the head guy of the East Indian Trading Company is walking elegantly down the stairs on his fantastic ship while in amazing slow motion effects the ship and very railing he is holding onto is being blown to smithereens. Literally splintering to pieces all around him. He does not look panicked, he does not run down the stairs away from the cannon and gun fire but continues to walk with dignity through the chaos with his head held high.

These scenes often come to my mind during the two most crazy town parts of my day, getting the kids off the school and then getting the kids home from school and getting dinner ready. Most days are one or the other of these scenes, but sometimes, SOMETIMES it feels like Heavenly Father throws you a bone and you have this magical day when things you never thought would or could be accomplished get accomplished and you can sit back and say like old Murdock from the A-team “I love it when a plan comes together.”

I had a day like that last week. To prove the extent of the magical blessed morning I had I stopped and took this little video. All 3 vesters doing theirs vests at the same time. Ruby got her Pulmozyme done FIRST THING IN THE MORNING BEFORE THE BIG KIDS WERE GONE! Gasp, shocking, unheard of! Then to top it off Charles the only non vester says to me “Mom can I hold Ruby while she does her vest.” And he did, and she loved it, and he loved it and felt likes such a special helper and has begged to hold her during her vest ever since.
So I had to stop and give Heavenly Father not only a big high 5, but a high 10 and say a prayer of gratitude. Then as I was continuing to realize what this accomplishment would mean for my guilt level and “self worth tank” for the rest of the day I knew it was not a day to be wasted. The adrenaline of accomplishment was pumping and I went outside and lifted my car! Well I didn’t really lift the car but I did get a lot done that day and did move a few pieces of furniture. Days like that give a girl something to recreate and aspire to. Something to look back on and say, “yeah that happened!” So once again I thank my Father in Heaven for giving me hope and encouragement through accomplishment and inspiration to strive for awesomeness for those days when I am totally covered in mysterious bubbly foam and the very stair railing I am holding onto is splintering and exploding around me!

  
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)